I’m still rejoicing in Tuesday’s amazing news of my cancer shrinking. This has renewed my commitment to persevering with the chemo. Why else would I submit to being poisoned every three weeks, AND pay thousands each time for the privilege?

But Wednesday gave me a sober reminder that there are other costs. I stopped by a National Heart Foundation stall and let them take my blood pressure. I’m not sure who got the bigger shock – them or me? It was 180 over 106. This was off their charts and they told me I was high risk for a stroke or heart attack. Thanks guys! I checked it again at home. It wasn’t quite as bad, but still serious. I’ve been checking each day since and it’s not good.

I think it’s easy to explain. I don’t think it’s lifestyle or diet. It’s almost certainly the chemo, specifically the Avastin. So we may need to make a choice. Give up the Avastin or introduce new drugs to reduce the blood pressure. When the chemo is shrinking the cancer, I don’t feel like messing with the chemo cocktail. But I don’t want a stroke either, so I may have to take on another drug, and live with its side effects and repercussions.

There’s nothing simple about this cancer journey. If you pray, please ask God to grant us and the specialists wisdom to know how best to proceed. Please ask him to protect me from harm caused by high blood pressure. And please ask him to help me not be anxious, but to keep trusting him in all things.

(first published in macarisms.com on 17/2/13)