Who can I trust?

IMG_1217This morning someone asked me if I was in remission. I looked so healthy! I told them that the cancer was being kept in check, but that I wasn’t in remission (as far as I know). It’s now over 10 months since I was diagnosed and I’m very thankful to God to be alive. In fact, my overall health levels seem to be higher than they were back then. My friend then asked me when I’d be finished on the chemo, and I couldn’t tell them. I’m about to have my 14th dose of 3 weekly chemo and it seems to be doing its job of controlling things. We recently read of someone who’d received 92 doses of the same stuff so I’ll keep going so long as it keeps working and my body can tolerate it.

Last week we had a visit to the oncologist. He was positive about how I was travelling and the treatment options ahead. He’d recently been updated on some targeted therapies for people with my type of lung cancer and he seemed prepared to speak with me about a longer term future. In fact, he went so far as to speak of the possibility of treating me more as a patient with a chronic illness, rather than a terminal illness. This was quite radical! It was very heartening to hear a more optimistic tone from our specialist. Of course, everyone is unique and responds differently to treatment, so there are no promises.

I need to be reminded to keep my trust in God rather than brilliant doctors or wonder drugs. God is the one who holds my life in his hands. He alone gives life and takes it away. He alone has the power to heal. And so we continue to call on God to heal me, we pray for wisdom for my doctors, we ask that the drugs will destroy the cancer, we plead for more days and years with my family and friends, we pray for new opportunities to serve God in this life that he’s given to me. If you too pray, we ask that you continue to remember me from time to time.

(first published in macarisms.com on 7/10/12)

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