Who am I?

I just noticed that I have a problem! I’ve started to define myself as a cancer patient. Sometimes, with exotic pride… “I have a rare genetic mutation that is driving the cancer.” Sometimes, just the mundane… “I’m sick of being sick all the time.” Sometimes, in boring detail… “Let me tell you the latest side effects of the chemo!” Sometimes, in self pity… “Why is this happening to me?”

The truth is, this way of thinking is a lie and a trap. Always has been. I know that I’m not the sum total of my upbringing, career choices, sporting successes, travels, relationships, accumulated possessions or circumstances. My significance can’t be measured by wealth, or wisdom, or health, or the lack thereof. I believe God has made me for a purpose. Not to wallow in self-pity or be puffed up with pride, but to look outwards to others, to consider others more important than myself, and to put other’s needs before my own. God has shown me how to do that, in Jesus who had everything but incredibly sacrificed it all for you and me. It’s not easy, but please God, help me to remember that it’s not about me.

(first published in macarisms.com 13/2/12)

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